Major Changes Can Cause a Major Shift
"We all want to be able to live out the truest and highest expression of ourselves as human beings." ~ Oprah Winfrey
I just saw a post on Facebook about how it feels when your children finally leave and you realize that it's "for good"! It really struck a note for me because my daughters are all gone "for good" and I must admit that I don't like it! I feel sometimes like there is a big hole in my heart! I'm so proud of all of them because they are strong, independent, smart and very beautiful young women! Most of my life has been dedicated to raising my daughters and now they are on their own. I've talked so much about how Crazy Blonde Life is keeping me busy and it truly is my passion, but it will never take the place of the joy that being a mother (and now a grandmother) brings. Being alone, when I'm so used to being surrounded by the hustle and bustle of a family has been one of the hardest things I've ever experienced and it's kept me feeling really down and a little depressed at times.
There have been some major changes in my life lately that I'm not quite ready to talk about on the blog, but suffice it to say that I have been feeling a little "crazy"! I'm really learning to "truly live" all of the things that I've been talking about here for a while now.
Yesterday I drove seven hours to Nashville for a visit with my two youngest daughters, Rebecca and Sarah. Rebecca is flying in from Boston and Sarah lives an hour away...so we are all meeting for a few days of girl time. As I was driving, I listened to YouTube almost all of the way. I'm always looking for things that inspire and motivate me and I've discovered some great new YouTube videos. One of the people that I love is Mel Robbins. As I was listening, I added quotes (voice activated of course) to my notes. I kind of just let YouTube take over and it went from Mel Robbins to Oprah to Abraham Hicks. I had a Spiritual Life class while I was driving!
Here is a summary of the notes that I made and I'll elaborate (that sounds awfully boring, but I promise it's not)!
Have the courage to hear my inner wisdom - We all have that problem with repetitive thought patterns that keep us stuck in the same bad situations over and over again. Well, it turns out that our brains do this to us on purpose, because change is scary and habits are familiar so we revert back to them. Have you ever heard the definition of insanity..."doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." We all do it to some extent, but we don't have to. Our inner wisdom, our connection to the Universe, our "little voice", the voice of God, whatever you want to call it, that is what will save us from being stuck in those repetitive thought patterns which in turn keep us stuck in unhappiness and lives that are less than the ones we want to live.
Mel Robbins talks about the five second rule (see more here) and the Confident Competent Loop (read this article)! To break a habit (including habitual thought patterns) you have to insert a different behavior. You can't always control how you feel, but you can control how you act. Unless, you've been drinking too much wine...then it's a problem, so maybe (if you're like me), you need to lay off the wine a little!
"We all recognize that our success accelerates when we are confident. The reason is simple. Without confidence we revert to fear, and when we are fearful we don’t take any action. We get tentative, we delay and we procrastinate. When you are able to let go of fear, you take action more quickly and easily."
The five second rule is one that Mel Robbins came up with that helped her get through a tough time in her life. The premise is simple. When your thoughts are less than what you want them to be, when you're feeling stuck or lost in fear...count down from 5...5, 4, 3, 2, 1. This automatically reprograms your brain to think differently. I'm making it sound simple and it really is, but the interesting thing is the science behind it. I really recommend that you buy her book or listen to YouTube. It's fascinating and it works.
Your doubts create mountains and your actions move them! This one really got me. Usually, most of us can handle even the hardest times in our lives, but fear and doubt take over our minds and it paralyzes us and sends us back to those nasty habitual thought patterns of fear. Action...just one small thing can move us out of that and then we can create the change that's necessary. That was a big one for me.
Make progress every day on one thing that matters to you! If you keep the vision of your goals and dreams and do just one thing every day to move in that direction, the Universe has no choice but to bring you what you want. Don't doubt...just keep moving in the right direction and trust.
Stop arguing for your limitations. This goes back to the Confidence Competent Loop because of the negative thought patterns. It's just our brains trying to keep us "stuck" in the same place. You don't have any limitations. You can do whatever you want to do. Just start!
I'm so glad that you're going along on the journey with me! I love sharing what I've learned and continue to learn as I strive to "live out the truest and highest expression" of myself!
My daughter received a handmade birthday card when she was young from a friend of hers and I'll never forget it...it said - "I wish for you a rainbow"