Stop the Rollercoaster...I Want to get Off!
I think we accept unacceptable behavior from people because of fear and we also treat people in unacceptable ways because of fear, which is the same thing...fear causes people to behave in unacceptable ways. Hurt people hurt people. Change causes fear, but when we grow we change. Safety isn't always safe. Our brains are programmed to resist change because it doesn't feel safe, but we can reprogram our brains, embrace change and get off the rollercoaster!
Life is uncertain...some days are good (who knows why) and somedays, not so good! I have struggled writing this blog because I don't ever want anyone to assume that my life is perfect or that I have all the answers, but I do really want to share my journey because I think it will help people. Everybody has their stuff and it's nice to know that you're not alone!
My personal life, my relationships, are all different. I think that for the most part, my relationships with my girls are good...not always perfect, but I am close to my daughters. My marriage is a different story. I want to be completely honest here, without sharing too much, but marriage is hard. I think men and women are programmed to think differently and I'm not sure why?! I say things that I think make perfect sense, but evidently don't. I think that society teaches manipulative behavior. "Don't make anyone feel too good about themselves, because then you can't control them." That is my observation anyway! It comes down to how you feel about yourself! If you know your worth, no one can make you feel bad for very long. Marriage takes commitment and a resolve to do the hard work that is sometimes required.
It seems to me that the better you make people feel about themselves, the better it is for you! What is all this competition about? In the end, we are responsible for our own life, the way we feel about ourselves, the way we react to others and how our lives go, but our relationships with the people in our lives and the way we allow them to make us feel is difficult. In relationships, we expect mutual respect, whether its from a friend, or a spouse. I'm not sure where to go from here, but honestly, I'm puzzled by the way we all treat each other. Having said that, we all teach people how to treat us and what is acceptable, but it takes serious focus to learn boundaries!
I am NOT a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.
There comes a time in life when you have to decide what you want. What will your life be like? It all depends on the decisions that you make moment to moment. The safety of the familiar can be dangerous. I sometimes get wrapped up in the memories of things that no longer serve me. There will always be opportunity for making new memories. Life is supposed to be good, but it takes a commitment to living authentically.