Are You Living In the Gap or the Gain

A good friend of mine recommended that I read a book by Dr. Benjamin Hardy called 10X is Easier than 2X. I decided to purchase the book on Audible and I’ve been listening in the car. There are so many ideas to ponder in this book, but the one that has me thinking the most is about the gap or the gain. Let me explain…

This book, to me is about being successful (wildly successful), while also maintaining quality of life and happiness.

As an entrepreneur, I am responsible for everything in my business and it’s a lot to keep up with. There are the brand partnerships, the social media posts (Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, Facebook and now Threads), and the blog posts. In order to keep up with those things, I’m constantly needing to create content of many different kinds…photography, video, collage, emails, etc. It can all be very overwhelming and time consuming.

When I’m living in the gap, I am being hard on myself, critiquing everything I do and second guessing my decisions. I never feel as if I’ve done enough and I’m comparing myself to everyone else. This leads to stress and worry and it’s not a fun way to live.

In contrast, living in the gain is very different. Living in the gain is about looking back and realizing how far I’ve come. It’s about understanding that every experience is valuable if I make it a learning experience and it has nothing to do with comparison. We are all different people and outward appearances rarely tell the whole story. It may appear that someone else is doing everything better than I am but the truth is, there are people looking at me thinking that I have things completely figured out when that is far from the truth!

Learning to stay in my lane, walk my path to the best of my ability and learn from my mistakes is the only job I have. Comparing me to me is what will take me where I want to go.

If I take the time to look back 5 or 6 years, I can see how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learned. That alone makes me feel very accomplished and it doesn’t matter that someone else did it “better” or faster. Even looking back a year is helpful and shows me that no matter what happens, I’m committed to my craft and I’m moving forward. Everything I do and everything I learn is valuable if I choose to see it that way!

Dr. Hardy suggests looking back on a regular basis. He suggests starting with 3, 5 or even 10 years and also looking back daily by journaling each night and writing down three things that you accomplished and are proud of. Accomplishments don’t even have to be directly related to a job or business. They could be simple things like having a good conversation with your spouse or getting up and going to the gym. Life can’t be compartmentalized into work life or private life. Life is life and a good life requires that everything work together.

I realized that I’ve been living far too often in the gap! I’m very hard on myself and I do play the comparison game, even though I know it doesn’t help. Having goals is important, but beating myself up because things aren’t happening as quickly as I want them to keeps me stuck.

I know that I will make progress much more quickly and attain my goals when I take the time to look back and realize just how far I’ve come. The whole reason I do what I do is because it’s what I love! It was me who started Crazy Blonde Life…I created it from nothing and when I started, being where I am today was just a dream! That’s kind of a big deal! Instead of constantly beating myself up for the little things I perceive as being wrong, I can regroup and figure out how to move forward in a more positive way. Happiness is the goal…I want to be successful and happy at the same time!

I firmly believe that we have desires because they point us in the direction we are supposed to go. Each of us has unique gifts and our desires will lead us to fulfill our purpose in life.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.” ~Henry David Thoreau

I highly recommend 10X is Easier than 2X, for anyone who wants to live and grow more efficiently, effectively and easily. Setting quantifiable goals, moving in the right direction and staying on track while putting true happiness at the top of the list is what this book is about!