10 Things I Learned in my 50's That Changed My Life
Of all the decades I’ve lived, I learned the most significant life lessons in my 50’s! Clearly, the Universe was speaking to me! It wasn’t that the decade of my 50s was any harder or easier than others, it’s that I was finally in a place to be present and let the lessons land. It was time…time for me to be the next version of me!
In honor of my upcoming 60th birthday, I thought it would be nice to look back and narrow my life lessons from my 50s down to the 10 most significant things I learned!
Everything I need is inside of me…
I’ve spoken about this many times, but I believe we are each a unique reflection of the Source of all things…the Universe, God, whatever you call a higher power. This means that we have access to that power if we choose to align with it.
As I was growing up, I was taught (or I understood) that the opposite was true. I was taught that there was some powerful entity that could judge me at whim. There certainly isn’t much hope in that and I rejected the idea early on, but…I didn’t replace it with anything until I started really searching in my 50s!
I now know that I have access to the power of the Universe when I choose to. It sounds easy right? Well, I’m sure you all know that it’s not so easy because we’ve been conditioned for many generations (especially as women) to think we don’t have any power. All of the societal beliefs, as much as we reject them, can still play a role in the voices that live in our heads. We have all believed things about ourselves that aren’t true, and some of these things came from well meaning people.
The idea of external power is about control, not true power. True power comes from a deep place of love and respect for who we are and for others…it comes from within and it never involves fear.
If I Don’t Love Me, Outside Validation Doesn’t Really Matter
It can feel so good to have people give you compliments, but if you need those compliments to feel good about yourself, then it’s time to take a look at what’s really going on.
For many years, I didn’t like myself very much at all and craved outside validation. I was angry at the world for the bad hand I’d been dealt, and had no idea that I chose the cards! Feeling good for me was almost totally about what was going on outside of me. Now I know that I am worthy just because I’m here on this earth and I don’t need outside validation…although it does still feel really good! When you know you’re worthy, the anger and anxiety tend to melt away.
You Can’t Trust Other People, You Can Only Trust Yourself With Other People
This is a hard one, but ultimately, everyone is the star of their own show (yes, even you)! I learned the hard way as I’m sure most of you have, that everyone is about themselves…including me and that’s really the way it’s supposed to be…
More about self love at the end, but you can be all about yourself in a powerless way, or you can be about yourself, knowing that when you do what’s right for you in a really healthy way, the people around you benefit and as a result, the world benefits…because it’s all about the energy.
Everyone has insecurities and “stuff”, no matter how far along on our spiritual journeys we are. Our egos keep whispering in our ears about how we’re not ready, not good enough or not enough at all. Unless you’ve ascended more than most, you will still hurt people you love, you will still get angry and you will still do and say things that you wish you hadn’t. Being able to trust yourself with others simply means that you are aware that everyone is human and you must be your first priority, because when you are your first priority, everyone else benefits…period.
The Journey is Lifelong
When I was much younger, I thought that by the time I got to be 60 years old, I would have figured things out. Just writing that makes me laugh. I can apply all of the spiritual principles I’ve learned, I can meditate, I can journal, and some days, I’m still very perplexed about what just happened and about which direction I should go. This is where trust comes in…trusting that we are on the right path, knowing that we’re doing the inner work and…even on the days when it doesn’t look like it - the Universe really does have our backs!
Life is Supposed to Be Good!
Notice I didn’t say “life is supposed to be easy”! I remember years ago hearing people say “life is hard and then you die”. How absurd to believe that! If you believe in love, if you believe that you are here for a reason, if you have any kind of faith at all, how could you possibly believe that! Life is what you make it! I’ve spent the past 8 years turning my pain into purpose. The story of my life, even though it’s been hard at times, has become my gift to share with the world.
I’m sure that life is hard for some and then they die, but I’ve overcome so much and if I can share it all, then possibly I can change that for a few people. That’s why sharing is so impofrtant!
I Am the Writer and Director of My Own Life
It’s kind of a hard pill to swallow, knowing that I’ve created everything in my life! Who wants to believe they’ve created hard times!
When you don’t know, you keep doing the same thing over and over. When you do know, you create an awareness that can be the catalyst for the biggest changes in your life. Like I said before, I wasn’t taught any of these principles growing up, but I’m grateful that I was curious enough to start the search!
Learning Is Lifelong and Curiosity is Everything…
Around 2015, when I was at my wits end and so miserable I didn’t know how I would go on, I remember falling to my knees and asking for help. Looking back, I can see very clearly how things started slowly changing. I read a book which led me to find Abraham Hicks, which led me to discover many more teachers that have helped me so much along my path. I can clearly remember hearing Ester Hicks say “you create your own reality” and that phrase made perfect sense. I had to create the life I wanted…it wasn’t going to just happen. I had to be curious enough to learn more, to try things out, to be open to new ways of doing things. Of course, things didn’t change immediately, but something in my mind and in my heart changed and that was the beginning…the spark. Today, there are so many things I still want to learn and understand and it’s exciting to keep growing and being curious!
Confidence is Courage Compounded…
I cannot take credit for that statement, I’ll give my mentor Melanie Ann Layer the credit, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s true! The more you step out in courage, even when you’re scared, the more confident you become. Our egos offer a false sense of protection and try to talk us out of things that aren’t familiar. When we learn to feel the fear, step into the unknown and do the thing anyway, confidence comes more quickly. And the more you step, the more confident you become.
People Will Talk…People Will Talk
Someone is going to have an opinion no matter what you do so you may as well do what makes your heart sing and let them talk!
Self Love Is the Most Important Thing
And…the hardest thing at times.
In my life, until I was in my late 40s, I never heard anyone talk about self love! I heard other’s talk about people who thought they were “too good”, or people who thought they were better than others, but that’s not what I’m talking about here!
Last summer, I had someone argue this point with me and it was very disheartening. If we are creative expressions of the Source of all things, we are responsible for letting our lights shine (that is God within us). If we doubt that we’re good enough and dim our light, the world doesn’t experience our gifts, which come from God and are part of us. Self love is knowing that nurturing ourselves and seeing ourselves as unique expressions of God is our gift to the world.
It’s taken me so long to get to the point where I really love who I am most of the time. I still mess up and let my ego take over, but when I’m aligned and doing the work I know I was put here to do, I feel so good! Just imagine what the world would look like if everyone followed their God given passions, knew about their authentic power, stayed curious, was passionate about learning and believed in their responsibility to shine! That’s the world I want to live in and I believe that one person at a time we can create that!
Let’s teach our children and grandchildren at a young age how fabulous they are and that their interests and desires are there for a reason! Let’s teach them that they have the power to make a difference just by being who they are. Maybe then, life will be easier!