Changing My Mind
Happy Saturday everyone and thanks so much for stopping by Crazy Blonde Life!
I can hardly believe it’s August 27! This year is flying by and before we have a chance to blink we’ll be in the middle of the holiday season!
What a year of growth and change this year has been for me! Working on becoming the best version of myself has been my goal for this year and will be my goal for the rest of my life. Evolution and growth over a lifetime is what I’m striving for! We will never arrive at the person we want to be, because as humans, evolution and wanting to be do and have more is what we came here for!
2022 started with writing my personal development program, Journey of Becoming. Just the act of sitting down and putting that program into words changed me. I grew…a lot, not so much because of the program, but because I really put myself out there, even when it was scary and even when I worried about what people would think. I did this because I profoundly believe that by sharing my journey from being an insecure, scared woman who blamed everyone and everything for her circumstances to being the confident, happy, secure person I am today provides evidence to other women that they can also transform their lives and start a never ending journey of growing and learning.
In April of 2022, I re-wrote Journey of Becoming and made it a 30 day program instead of it’s original 21 days. This was also transformative for me. All the while I was writing, my prayer was to embody the principles I was teaching and writing about. Well…be careful what you wish for because I had some work to do and the Universe always answers your prayers, but usually in a very unexpected way. Keep reading to learn what happened!
I firmly believe in hiring mentors and having someone you can talk to about life. As some of you know, I’m in a year long mentorship program that has inspired so much growth and given me a place to voice things and ask for advice when I need it. This program also offers masterclasses on everything from learning to be a coach to learning about the Divine feminine and balancing masculine and feminine energy. I have loved every second of this program and will probably join again next year. I also have a private Human Design coach that I speak with every couple of weeks. During our sessions, we get very personal and I have had some truly huge ah-ha moments that brought me to my knees.
Lately, I’ve written more and more about how our subconscious thoughts can affect our lives in ways we don’t even realize. I’ve recently uncovered unconscious beliefs that have been causing me to create the same problems in my life over and over again.
In our last session my coach asked me…”when in your life have you felt safe emotionally?”. My honest answer was - never really, but now more than ever before.
She walked me through how much of my behavior was based on unconsciously going back to an unsafe place emotionally because that was my egos way of taking me back to the familiar and familiar is safe to the ego.
We talked about some of the things in my life that still seemed to be recurring problems…my relationship with money and my relationship with food. In a single moment, I saw how I had continued to sabotage my life without even realizing it. Even though I have come so far, I still and always will have things to work on…remember, life is a journey.
As a result of this conversation, I have become super aware of what’s going on in my head and my husband and I have had some hard conversations that we were never able to have before. I don’t feel ready to go into the details of all of this quite yet, but in a way it’s been a difficult few weeks and in a way some of the best of my life. I feel a freedom that I’ve never felt before. This work of becoming self aware is hard, but doing it is the best gift you can ever give yourself.
In time, when the dust settles, I’ll go into more detail about all of this, but for now, I’m going to continue to stay present and be as aware of my thoughts as I can so that I can question them and stop repeating the same patterns.
I’m telling you all of this because my plan was to introduce yet another version of Journey of Becoming on August 30 and I have changed my mind. I’m still working on this program and several others, but I need to honor myself and my feelings right now and get through this time of huge growth and change. Until then, I’ll still be writing blog posts like these because I want to share my story…what caused me to start my journey, what I’ve learned along the way and why I truly think it’s important to share.
This post is the first of 4 that I’ll be writing to share a little more about my life and I hope they inspire you to consciously start your journey of becoming if you haven’t already, and do the transformative work that comes with it! I’m calling it a Midlife Revolution because, as I’ve said before, we’re not getting any younger and we have so much to say!
Let’s begin to take up the space we deserve to take up, use our voices to share our stories, create beautiful lives that we are head over heals in love with, sooth our weary souls and experience midlife in a way we never thought possible. We are individually - One Woman for All Women if we do the work and if we share our stories.
“The highest human act is to inspire.” ~ Nipsey Hussle